


everything you touch slowly dies

by kidultq



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Angst, Anxiety, Anxiety Disorder, Bottom Jeon Wonwoo, Break Up, Fluff, Heavy Angst, Jeon Wonwoo-centric, M/M, Mentioned Kwon Soonyoung | Hoshi, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Mild Smut, Overthinking, Smut, Top Kim Mingyu
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-12
Updated: 2021-01-12
Packaged: 2021-03-17 05:15:16
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,341
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28719492
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kidultq/pseuds/kidultq
Summary: Mingyu isn’t like he used to be at the start of the relationship and Wonwoo tries to find the best way to let him go.
Relationships: Jeon Wonwoo/Kim Mingyu
Comments: 15
Kudos: 74





	everything you touch slowly dies

It was an uneasy feeling that was piling up in Wonwoo’s stomach as he stared at his reflection in the mirror. His eyes were puffy behind his glasses and the eyebags made him look even worse. He wasn’t crying, yet his eyes were red and he blamed it on the smoke in the crowded living room. It was rarely that he needed a moment to ground himself and look at what he had become in the last year of his life. And usually, he would stand in front of a mirror and observe the changes in his appearance that often went unnoticed by everyone, even himself. 

Shame that his breakdown decided to happen while he was at his friend’s house party, surrounded by people he knew for years. He doubted anyone noticed he was locked in the bathroom for the past 15 minutes.

He didn’t expect Minghao to be standing by the door when he walked out, looking at him with that annoying, sad expression he always had for Wonwoo. The one that always made Wonwoo roll his eyes and brush his comments off. It was like he was pitying Wonwoo for something, and Wonwoo didn’t like that. 

Few boys pushed past them into the bathroom after Wonwoo had gotten out, clearly drunk and out of their right mind as they were laughing at the boy who ran at the front of the group. Wonwoo thought he recognised few boys but ignored it, it wasn’t his business anyway. 

  
  


“You were there for a long time.” He said, following Wonwoo into the living room where the rest of their friends were.

“Please, you are just drunk.” 

“Were you talking to yourself in the mirror again?” Minghao asked, laughing it off as he sat down beside his friend and placed his hand onto Wonwoo’s thigh.

Minghao was always touchy with Wonwoo, even though he himself didn’t like being touched by anyone. He was known for pushing everyone away, saying how disgusting it was. Yet every time he was around Wonwoo he would keep his hands on his body like he owned him. And truth to be told, Wonwoo didn’t mind. He liked clingy Minghao. And how he, sometimes, would throw his long legs over his lap or have his arm wrapped around his shoulders, like he was trying to protect him from something. 

  
  


“Have you seen Mingyu?” He asked after he failed to find the tall boy in the crowd. 

“He was somewhere here when I left to look for you.” The other replied, his hand rubbing Wonwoo’s thigh slowly. “You two are always glued together. How did you lose him?” 

  
  


Of course, that was supposed to be just a joke, the lighthearted tone of Minghao’s voice said that clearly. But Wonwoo zoned out again, staring at the led lights on the other side of the rooms that were surely going to give him a headache soon. 

He thought about his relationship with Mingyu and how he really spent so much time with him. They were always together, and when they couldn’t be there physically, Mingyu and Wonwoo would text, call each other or just sit on a video call. When Wonwoo was busy with his exam and couldn’t hang around Mingyu much, the younger would video call him every day just to watch him. He just had too much time on his hands. Wonwoo found it cute back then, but right now he thought how disgusting and creepy the gesture was. 

They never talked to others about their relationship. They were private enough to not smear how happy they were in the faces of their friends who were in the majority single. Many of their friends never knew what was happening in their lives, at least Wonwoo’s friends didn’t. They didn’t know about how their first dates went or how bad the fights were. Maybe that’s why Wonwoo had to talk to himself about Mingyu in the mirror, overthink and place the puzzle pieces together alone at 3 am. 

  
  


“I really want to go home, ” Wonwoo said over the music. “But I want to tell Mingyu before I leave.” 

“Text him when you get home or something.” 

Minghao took a sip of his drink. Wonwoo didn’t know what it was in his plastic cup, and knowing Minghao’s drinking habits neither did he. He liked to mix drinks and experiment with flavours of all kinds. If he was honest, Wonwoo wouldn’t be surprised if it was another energy drink mixed with strong liquor that would keep the younger up all night. 

  
  


“Why did you come out tonight if you are just gonna sulk on the couch and look for Mingyu so you can go home?” 

“I promised Mingyu I would go out tonight,” Wonwoo said, looking down at the cup Minghao was holding, remembering his own that he misplaced when he went to the bathroom. 

  
  


“Boo, why did he leave you here if he made you come out?” 

  
  


Wonwoo reached down to pull the other’s hand from his thigh when he spotted his boyfriend in the crowd. He was coming over to them and Wonwoo knew he didn’t like when Minghao got clingy around him. Mingyu wasn't a jealous or possessive type, at least he didn’t show it to Wonwoo, but Wonwoo always noticed how his mood would change when he saw Minghao touching him. Perhaps he just felt threatened by the other boy, because of how close he was to his boyfriend. 

  
  


Mingyu smiled at him when he got closer, leaning down to place a kiss on his cheek. Wonwoo could smell menthol cigarettes on Mingyu and he wasn’t sure if it’s because Mingyu was smoking outside or if it’s because he was around Jihoon for too long. It was rare for a younger one to go out for a smoke since he hated smoking and drinking. When it did happen, it was usually under Jihoon’s or Soonyoung’s influence. 

But tonight Wonwoo couldn’t smell anything apart from the smell of cigarettes on Mingyu, as the younger one squeezed next to him on the couch. He was talking how one of his friends had too much to drink and how he was now in the bathroom with Jihoon, and Minghao seemed more interested in the gossip than Wonwoo. 

He just wanted to go home. He was tired of the atmosphere of the party, the smoke that filled the room, different flavours mixing together; the loud music not helping the developing headache. He was tired and this isn’t how he wanted to spend his weekend with Mingyu. But his boyfriend seemed really happy when he invited him, and having a sweet spot for him made Wonwoo say yes, yet again. 

After Minghao had gotten all the details of which boy was unfortunate enough to drink so much that it would leave him in the bathroom for the rest of the night, he told Wonwoo that it was the guy who dated one of his roommates. 

Minghao was one of those people who knew everything about everyone and didn’t even try to dig up dirty rumours. They would just come to him, the same way birds would fly to Snow White. There was never ill intentions, he only kept it for his own joy and would only share it with few people around him he liked. 

  
  


Wonwoo placed his head on Mingyu’s shoulder, sighing softly as he stared at people dancing badly in the middle of the living room. He was bored. He moved his hand to take a hold of Mingyu’s intertwining their fingers together and looking up at the younger with puppy-like eyes. 

“Can we go home now?”

  
  


Mingyu agreed to drive Wonwoo home when he started whining and sulking. He was still sober to drive him back to his small apartment, so they said their goodbyes before leaving the party rather early, again. 

  
  


“Where did you run off to earlier?” Mingyu asked, referring to Wonwoo’s fifteen minutes break in the bathroom.

“You were the one who disappeared.” 

  
  


Their car ride was awfully silent, with only Mingyu’s playlist playing on the low, filling the car with more dread that it needed. Wonwoo thought about the time when they would sing from the top of their lungs and Mingyu’s hand would rest on his thigh, squeezing it lightly from time to time. The time when they were still happy about spending time with each other. That honeymoon phase of the new relationship, when everything was exciting and new. 

  
  


Now it was becoming dull, and the car rides were long and silent, with few words exchanged before they said their goodbyes. 

  
  


“Do you want to come in?” Wonwoo asked when Mingyu’s car stopped in front of his apartment. “You can stay the night if you want to.” 

He was hoping the other would say yes to his offer, desperately needing for him to lay next to him and hug him tonight. It was a long week of endless nights and stressful days and Wonwoo just needed Mingyu around for a little longer, even if he was to stay a mute all night long. He just wanted his warmth around him for the night. 

  
  


But Mingyu said no, only shaking his head as he made up excuses why he needed to go home. If it was any other time, Wonwoo wouldn’t stop pouting and whining until Mingyu agreed to go up with him instead. But tonight he was too drained from everything that he only nodded in response, opening the car door and closing them without a goodbye and watched the other drive off without any complaints. 

  
  


He clenched his jaw, his eyes following the black car until it disappeared behind a curve and Mingyu was gone. 

  
  
  


Wonwoo was in front of a mirror again watching his eyes and face. The pale skin, dark circles and dead eyes. He thought about the school and Mingyu. He thought about the projects he still didn’t finish that were due next week and he thought about how Mingyu just drove off without saying goodnight. It was his fault in the first place and he shouldn’t have expected Mingyu to get out just to say good night to him. 

  
  


_ Old Mingyu would’ve, though.  _

The voice in the back of his head spoke up as he looked down at his hands. 

  
  


_ Old Mingyu would’ve gotten out of the car and kissed you goodnight and apologised for leaving you at the party alone, you know that right?  _

  
  
  


He tried to shake off the thoughts. It was his same old Mingyu. He didn’t change, what was he thinking? 

But those thoughts kept him up at night, alongside bad memories from high school he tried so badly to push away as he laid awake in his bed that night. His eyes were fixed onto the ceiling above him, only light coming was from a heater on the other side of the room, a light green colour. He tapped the screen of his phone to see the time written on it, sighing when he was how late it was and he was still wide awake. 

He had ignored the messages from everyone when he arrived home, finally opening them now. Half of them were from a group chat that he had with his friends and the other was just Minghao texting him because he was bored. 

But no Mingyu. 

He chewed on his bottom lip, the thing he did when got anxious, as he opened the chat with Mingyu. It read ‘last seen at 18:56 yesterday’ under the nickname Wonwoo put for him. And it made him feel uneasy again. 

Mingyu didn’t even bother opening their chat at all since he picked him up for the party? 

He typed a few messages from ‘hey I’m sorry for today’ to ‘you really don’t care about me?’ before he deleted them all. He didn’t want to make the younger mad at him, nor did he want to start an argument he didn’t have the energy to finish, now or later. 

Instead, he decided to wish Mingyu a goodnight and leave his phone again. 

  
  


…. ☕︎︎ 

  
  


“So I think we should get some snacks today and then just watch the whole season together,” Mingyu said over the phone. 

“Did you already watch the first four episodes?” 

“Yeah, but it’s your favourite anime, Won. I want us to watch it together.” 

  
  


It was still too early for Wonwoo and the caffeine wasn’t kicking in yet for him to be fully awake. It was two days into their winter break and Mingyu had already planned what they would do before he left to see his family. He said he wanted to spend as much time as it was possible with Wonwoo, even inviting himself over for a sleepover. 

  
  


Wonwoo liked when Mingyu got excited over dumb stuff like this. It was the same as at the beginning of their relationship. 

“Okay fine.” Wonwoo sighed, switching his phone from one ear to another. “What time will you be here?” 

“I am currently leaving my place and heading over. Give me like 20 minutes?” 

“Enough for me to clean up a bit.” 

“Oh please, I saw everything. You are the dirtiest human to live on this planet.” He laughed and Wonwoo stayed silent. 

He loved listening to Mingyu giggles and laughs. It was one of the reasons he willingly talked over the phone with the younger even though he prefers texting over it. Mingyu laughing was comforting to him and he always wanted to listen to it. 

  
  


“Hey, Gyu?” Wonwoo called out after they were both silent for a while. “Could you go to the store and get snacks by yourself?” 

“What? Not feeling like leaving the house again?” 

“I just don’t want to change out of my pj’s.” 

  
  


Mingyu was silent for a few seconds, before giggling on the other side again. 

“Okay, but only if you will turn on the video so I can see you.” 

“You are coming over, why do you need to look at me?” 

“I miss your face, dumbass.” 

  
  
  


Wonwoo sighed loudly, as he watched Mingyu through the screen of his phone as the younger walked through the store. He was getting sweets for Wonwoo in particular and it made him smile while Mingyu wasn’t looking down at his phone. 

“Do you want chicken?” 

“Are you gonna cook for me?” 

“You want me to?” Mingyu raised his brow, looking down at the screen, catching Wonwoo smiling at his question. 

“You don’t have to, I was just joking.” 

“I don’t mind.” 

  
  


Mingyu spent a lot of time in the store, buying everything he wanted to cook for Wonwoo. Somehow the quick trip to get snacks turned into buying so many groceries that Mingyu barely carried them back to his car. The faces he was making made Wonwoo laugh out loud and Mingyu frown when he got into his car. 

  
  


The store he stopped by was close to Wonwoo’s apartment and in less than 5 minutes, Mingyu was calling him down to help him carry the bags. After that, the younger started making breakfast in Wonwoo’s kitchen as he sat behind the table watching him cook. Wonwoo’s cooking skills were considered boiling water and making ramen before he met Mingyu who taught him how to make food so he doesn’t live off of takeout for the majority. 

Watching Mingyu cook was always fun because the younger one would dance around while waiting for something to cook. He would wag his butt side to side, like a puppy, which would leave Wonwoo chuckling behind him, getting second-hand embarrassment for it. 

  
  
  


“You look like you aren’t hungry,” Mingyu said as he watched Wonwoo play with his food. 

Wonwoo was hungry, in fact, his stomach was growling so loudly he was sure Mingyu could hear it, but just a thought of putting food in his mouth made him feel sick. He didn’t know why he started to have a big dislike for the food. He only had one meal a day and was struggling even with that. His caffeine addiction was stronger than ever, and he would drink coffee or an energy drink he kept in the back of his fridge every few hours to keep his body alive. Mingyu’s food smelled heavenly, and he felt guilty for only taking a few bites. 

He felt bad. Mingyu went through the trouble of buying and cooking the food only for him to not eat it. He could see how pissed the other was getting as he continued to just play with bits of food on the plate.

  
  


“Can we skip breakfast and move to cuddling instead?” Wonwoo asked, his lower lip forming a small pout as he looked up at Mingyu. 

Mingyu rolled his eyes at him, getting up to clean the table. “Should’ve said something before I made the food.” 

The tone of his voice made Wonwoo’s eyes tear up and he felt as if something heavy sat down on his chest preventing him from breathing. He made Mingyu mad again. 

  
  
  


The younger didn’t mention the waste of the food he left in the kitchen as they were sitting on the couch, watching the anime on Wonwoo’s big TV. Wonwoo’s head was on Mingyu’s shoulder as he completely disappeared inside the big, white hoodie. It was Mingyu’s hoodie, but it didn’t smell like him anymore. It was the one Mingyu gave him when they started dating. It used to smell like Mingyu, that fresh scent of menthol that Wonwoo loved. He knew the scent came from menthol cigarettes his friends liked and oftentimes Mingyu would come not smelling like it. But it was one of the scents Wonwoo connected to the beginning of their relationship. 

Wonwoo was really sensitive to scents but there was something about that cold smell Mingyu often had that made Wonwoo feel warm inside. 

  
  


“Gyu…” Wonwoo whined as he lifted his head from the other's shoulder. “Can you kiss me?” 

The question made the younger smile, as he leaned closer to peck Wonwoo’s lips softly before turning his attention back to the big screen. And Wonwoo whined again, lightly hitting Mingyu’s chest in protest. 

“Give me a real kiss, coward.” 

“Won, the anime…” Mingyu said, soft chuckle leaving his lips as Wonwoo climbed up on his lap. 

  
  


…. ☕︎︎

  
  


Minghao was sitting next to Wonwoo in the cafe, his hand rubbing Wonwoo’s thigh slowly as he eyed Mingyu. He was standing next to another table, far enough from the two of them for Minghao to be able to hear what they were laughing about. 

Mingyu had his hand behind Jihoon and he was bent down, his shoulders going up and down as he was laughing at something one of Jihoon’s friends said. Mingyu straightened up, looking over at Wonwoo and waving his hand as he pushed one of the boys to sit next to them and talk properly without having to hover above them. 

The corner of Wonwoo’s lips pulled up at how cute the gesture was, lowering his head down to look at his cup of coffee, feeling the tip of his ears heat up. 

  
  


“That Jihoon guy is pissing me off, you know?” Minghao said, his hand leaving Wonwoo’s thigh, making the older of the two sigh softly. 

When Minghao wasn’t touching him he felt sad, he was so starved that he wanted to beg his friend to keep rubbing his thigh soothingly as he did moments ago. 

  
  
  


“He is a nice guy, Mingyu likes him.” 

Wonwoo liked Jihoon as well. He was a fun guy, quiet but his sarcastic comments made Wonwoo laugh. They met at the party when he and Mingyu started dating last year. They didn’t make a magical connection but were in contact. They had few mutual friends, the main one being Mingyu. It was a few meetings later that Wonwoo learned that menthol scent that was always around Mingyu was from the cigarettes Jihoon smoked. He told Wonwoo that he didn’t like the taste of normal cigarettes, and a slight burn from a fake mint in those was something he preferred

  
  
  


“Do you think they fucked?” Minghao suddenly said, sipping his tea, his eyes glued onto the tall figure that was squeezing next to a blond hair boy. 

“Who?” 

“Your boyfriend and Jihoon.” 

“W-What do you mean?” 

“No, no.” Minghao waved his hand at his friend, trying not to feed into his anxiety. “Not like while you two were together, but like before.” 

“I’m sure Mingyu would’ve told me that.” 

“But look at them. They look like two guys that slept together at least once.” 

“What do you know?” Wonwoo said bitterly, rolling his eyes at the nonsense that Minghao was talking.

“They hooked up. I know so.” 

“You don’t know anything, please shut up.” 

Before Minghao could give more arguments why he believed his boyfriend used to sleep around with his best friend, Mingyu came back to their table, sitting down opposite of Wonwoo again. He smiled widely at Wonwoo, winking as he took a sip of his cola. 

“What were you talking about?” Wonwoo asked his boyfriend, ignoring Minghao next to him who was poking his side. 

“They want me to come over tonight for a game night,” Mingyu said, looking at Minghao and then back at Wonwoo. “They are planning everything at the last minute so they asked me to sit down so I can help them a little.” 

“Oh, then you should surely bring Wonwoo. He loves playing games!” Minghao yelled loud enough to make the table in front of them turn their heads to look at him.

“Of course I will. Jihoon said he would like Wonwoo to come.” 

  
  


Something about Mingyu’s words rubbed Wonwoo the wrong way. They sounded fake like he was lying and hoping Wonwoo would say no to the invite and he could go alone tonight. 

Wonwoo wasn’t the type of boyfriend to not let Mingyu spend time with his friends, or demand to go with Mingyu wherever he goes. He would always let his boyfriend go out on his own, but most times Mingyu would insist on Wonwoo coming with him. 

But he could feel that Mingyu didn’t want him around tonight. 

  
  
  


So he told him to go alone and that he will spend time with Minghao while he was away to catch up on stuff. He hasn’t been spending much time with his friend and missed him so much. And he knew he could ask for some cuddles and hugs if he needed them because he knew if they were around Mingyu’s friends they probably wouldn’t be even close to each other. 

  
  


“And you just let go of your husband like that to spend a night with a man he fucked before…” 

“He didn’t sleep with Jihoon.” 

Minghao shrugged his shoulders, dropped the subject of who Mingyu had slept with, as he sat down beside Wonwoo. He took the glass Wonwoo handed him, looking at it before he sighed. 

“Why did you call me? Trying to make our himbo jealous so he would come to you earlier?” 

“I think I should break up with Mingyu.” 

At that confession, Minghao choked on his wine, looking at his friend in disbelief. 

  
  


“Wonwoo, I was only joking about him sleeping with other people, don’t take that too seriously dude,” Minghao said right after apologising for his jokes. 

Truth is, even though Minghao made fun of Mingyu for the most time, he actually liked the guy. He liked how he made Wonwoo happy and how he helped him get out of his shell and stop being the anti-social mess he was. And to hear those words come out of Wonwoo’s mouth he felt like he was going to be broken up with soon. 

“It’s not that, Hao,” Wonwoo said, shaking his head. “I feel like Mingyu doesn’t love me anymore. I feel like he has gotten bored of me, you know? And we both see it, but he is too good and doesn’t want to hurt me so he sticks around for no other reason.” 

“That’s not true. That little reincarnation of an overgrown puppy loves you more than anything.” 

“But you don’t see how much he has changed in the last few months. He has become so cold, disinterested in me.” 

Wonwoo felt Minghao’s hand on his cheek and his thumb wiping away a single tear that rolled down his cheek. 

“How can someone fall out of love with you, Won?” Minghao asked, his voice a lot softer as he pulled Wonwoo closer to him, wrapping his arm around his shoulders. 

“There isn’t much to love.” 

Minghao wanted to protest, but he knew Wonwoo wouldn’t listen to him. So he just placed his wine glass onto the coffee table before he pulled his, already crying friend, closer to his chest. He let Wonwoo push him down until he was laying down and he climbed on top of him. Wonwoo was a bit heavier than his friend, but Minghao didn’t mind. He let the older lay on top of him, slowly petting his hair and letting him fall asleep in his arms. Wonwoo’s tears finally dried on his face and Minghao’s shirt soon after.

  
  


…. ☕︎︎

  
  


In the next few days Wonwoo had spent alone in his apartment, he tried to come up with best ways to tell Mingyu that he thinks it’s best for them to part their ways a year and a half since this whole thing had started. He thought about a couple of ways he could ‘break the news’ to Mingyu, without being selfish about it. He guesses Mingyu would probably feel relieved when Wonwoo lets him go and not suffer as much as Wonwoo will. 

He thought about doing it face to face and telling Mingyu the truth of why he is letting him go. He thought about maybe making it easier for Mingyu by saying he too has fallen out of love with him. That would be a lie he would tell to make the other feel better about the breakup. But he couldn’t lie to Mingyu. It would pain him too much if he parted his ways with the younger and his last words to him were lies. 

He thought about doing it over a text or to write the younger a letter, but that felt no-personal-enough and Mingyu deserved at least a genuine goodbye from Wonwoo.

In the end, he thought about waiting for Mingyu to end things between them himself. No matter how much Wonwoo would suffer and how much he would lose sleep every night, that option seemed the best at the moment. Maybe he wouldn’t have to be the one to leave. 

  
  


He placed his forehead onto the cold surface of his study desk and let out a choked sob as he thought about all the fun times he had with Mingyu. The dates they had at the beginning, cooking dates, arcade dates and that one time Wonwoo met Mingyu’s mother. 

All the memories he had with Mingyu kept overflowing his brain as he could just cry. 

_ ’At least you had him for a short while.’  _ A voice spoke in the back of his head, and his sobs got quieter. 

  
  


…. ☕︎︎ 

  
  


Wonwoo sat next to Mingyu on the couch as the younger was watching the snowfall through the window. It was the first snow this winter. Mingyu liked snow, he liked watching snowflakes dance in the air and how everything turned white. Wonwoo on the other hand hated it. He hated feeling cold. 

And as Mingyu was talking about how it’s gonna get at least past his ankles tomorrow, Wonwoo was pulling the pink blanket to his neck, so that only his head was peaking through the fluffy material. He only hummed at Mingyu’s words, rolling his eyes at how excited Mingyu seemed. 

Mingyu laughed at how cute Wonwoo was trying to heat himself up with a short, pink blanket he had. The older would get cold easily and his nails would turn a soft shade of purple every time. And Mingyu liked to cuddle him until he was choking from the heat and his cheeks turned red. 

Nothing was different this time around too. Mingyu moved his hands under the fluffy blanket, wrapping his arms around Wonwoo’s small waist and pulling him closer. He placed a few butterfly kisses on Wonwoo’s cheek, tilting his head to look at the older's face better.

“You are really cute.” He whispered, smiling warmly at his boyfriend that seemed to be freezing in his arms. 

  
  


He looked at the little digital clock next to Wonwoo’s big tv before he sighed. He got up, picking the older boy in his arms and carrying him to the bed that was only a few feet away from the little living room. He was supposed to go out with his friends today, but he really didn’t want to leave Wonwoo tonight. He missed him so much since the older one was too busy last week to be around him and only answer one of his calls. 

  
  


Wonwoo was acting weird as of late, but Mingyu just thought he was tired because of the graduation that was in a couple of months and he didn’t want to push him to talk about what was keeping him so busy. He was just glad he got to still spend time with his Wonwoo.

“What are you doing?” Wonwoo asked when Mingyu placed him down onto his bed, tucking him in his blankets. 

“I am warming up my little freezing kitten.” He joked, laying down next to him and wrapping his arm around a little cocoon he made form Wonwoo. 

  
  


Wonwoo only laughed, freeing himself off of the pile of blankets on top of him and turning to the side to connect his lips with Mingyu’s in a soft and slow kiss. Mingyu’s big hand rested on his hip, as he slowly pushed Wonwoo back onto the bed and moved to hover above him. His hand moved up from Wonwoo’s hip, sliding under his sweatshirt and up his side. He could feel Wonwoo’s skin shiver under his touch, which only made him smile into the kiss before he pulled away.

He looked down at Wonwoo, his lips were already a little swollen and eyes dark. It’s been a while since Mingyu saw his lover like this. His eyes blown with lust and his hands snaking understand Mingyu’s shirt, hiking it up. 

Mingyu leaned down, pausing right as his lips were to touch Wonwoo’s, feeling the cold hands slide up his chest. His breath stuttering as he felt Wonwoo pinch his nipples slightly, his hips involuntarily grinding down onto Wonwoo’s. The older man’s hand dropped back down onto his hips, holding him steady to not roll his hips again. 

Wonwoo knew how sensitive Mingyu’s chest was, and he often used that information against him. 

“Gyu—” Wonwoo whined silently, looking down at other’s lips as he moved away from him. 

Mingyu chuckled, brushing his lips against Wonwoo’s before kissing him again. The kiss was sloppy this time around, their teeth clicking together and Mingyu sucking on Wonwoo’s bottom lip, biting it lightly as he pulled away to sit back on his heels. He pulled his shirt over his head, feeling Wonwoo’s eyes on his torso. 

Wonwoo sat up, pulling his sweatshirt over his head, leaning up to connect his lips with Mingyu’s again as he threw the shirt off of the bed, hearing it hit the ground. He pulled the string on the younger's sweatpants, trying to take them off in some type of hurry before he was pushed back down onto the mattress. He giggled at Mingyu, looking up at him. Mingyu only smiled, reaching down to take off Wonwoo’s pyjama pants, Wonwoo helped him by lifting his hips slightly. 

  
  


“I missed you,” Mingyu whispered against Wonwoo’s lips after he had taken off his pants, kissing Wonwoo while his lips slowly rolled against his. 

Those words made Wonwoo’s chest ache as he only wrapped his arms around the younger’s neck pulling him into another kiss. He felt Mingyu’s getting hard on his stomach, smiling into the kiss. He felt good knowing he still made Mingyu feel something for him. 

“Please fuck me already, Gyu.” 

  
  


Mingyu loved to take things slow with Wonwoo, usually dragging out his foreplay until Wonwoo was left crying for him. But something about Wonwoo today was telling him he shouldn’t do it today. 

He pulled away from Wonwoo, reaching over to the drawer where he kept the lube ever since the first time they had sex together and even in the dark Mingyu knew how to find it. Wonwoo’s hands were touching his chest, nails brushing past his nipples making him let out a shaky breath, throwing the bottle next to Wonwoo. He pulled off the older man’s underwear that left on by mistake, grabbing the bottle again. 

Wonwoo’s thighs shivered slightly when Mingyu pushed two of his fingers inside of him without any warning. It’s been long since they had sex, only because Mingyu thought Wonwoo didn’t want to and the older never made a move to prove him differently until now. 

He was tight around Mingyu’s fingers, letting out shaky breaths as Mingyu’s fingers moved slowly inside him, stretching him out carefully. The small gasp that left his lips when Mingyu’s finger brushed past his sweet spot — probably on purpose — only made the other smile. 

Wonwoo reached up for one of his pillows, hugging it close to his chest and burying his face into it, inhaling the scent on it that was similar to Mingyu’s. He felt his ears burn, because he got embarrassed, feeling exposed like this as Mingyu’s fingers fucked him open. 

“Are you okay, Won?” 

He nodded at the question, handing Mingyu the pillow when he pulled his fingers out. He clenched around nothing, lifting his hips up for the other to place the pillow under them. He blinked slowly, looking at Mingyu as he was stroking his cock, desire pooling in his lower stomach in anticipation. 

He bit his lip when Mingyu leaned over, feeling him rubbing his tip against his entrance before pushing inside of him slowly, making him let out a soft, low gasp. He could hear a small groan leave Mingyu’s lips as he clenched around him. He was pushing slowly inside of him until he bottomed out. Staying still and looking down at Wonwoo. His lips were parted slightly and his face was flushed red. He looked at his eyes, which were dark, lustful. 

Wonwoo reached up, wrapping his arms around Mingyu’s neck again and pulling him closer as the younger started to move his hips, thrusting slowly inside of him. He dug his nails into Mingyu’s back lightly, closing his thighs around the younger’s hips, making Mingyu stop for a moment. 

“Relax, baby, I’m not going anywhere.” He murmured into Wonwoo’s shoulder, his hand sliding down to his thigh. 

Wonwoo’s eyes filled with tears, burying his face into the younger's neck and relaxing his thighs just slightly so that he could move his hips again. He licked up Mingyu’s neck, nipping at the spots that the other liked. 

He tried his best to hide his sadness that was filling up in his chest and get lost in pleasure he was getting from Mingyu at the moment. The younger was thrusting inside of him faster, changing the angle of his thrusts to hit Wonwoo’s sweet spot, making his body shiver as he let out soft pants. 

  
  


“Fuck—” Mingyu grunted lowly, as he pulled out of Wonwoo. 

He straightened up, hissing as the older’s nails dragged against the skin of his back, he stroked his cock fast, cumming onto Wonwoo’s stomach. Wonwoo only whined loudly, because he didn’t get a chance to cum before Mingyu reached his high. He started pouting while looking at the other man. 

Mingyu was quick to take a hint, laying down in between Wonwoo’s legs, hand reaching up to take Wonwoo’s cock. He stroked it slowly, leaning closer to place soft kisses up his length, looking up straight into Wonwoo’s eyes. He wrapped his lips around Wonwoo’s tip, sucking on it lightly as he heard the other let out low moans. Mingyu closed his eyes, moving his mouth further down and hollowing his cheeks. He tried to take as much of Wonwoo’s cock in his mouth as he could, feeling the tip touch the back of his throat before he pulled away. 

He swirled his tongue around Wonwoo’s tip, before taking him back into his mouth and bobbing his head slowly. Wonwoo closed his thighs around Mingyu’s head before he came down his throat. Mingyu’s name mixed with his soft moans as he tugged on the younger's hair rather harshly. 

  
  


Mingyu pulled away, collapsing next to Wonwoo on the bed, chuckling as he wiped his lips and chin with the back of his hand. 

Wonwoo was silent for a few minutes, keeping his eyes glued onto the ceiling, catching his breath. He didn’t know his breathing was uneven because of the orgasm or the panic attack he felt in his chest as his mind was running through the last week and how he planned to break up with Mingyu. 

He loved Mingyu. 

He truly loved Mingyu. And for a moment he thought that Mingyu loved him still. For a moment he thought that their relationship wasn't over. That it was just his mind making up scenarios that were unrealistic and stupid. 

But then Minghao’s words about Mingyu and Jihoon came into his mind. He remembered how Mingyu’s smile was different when he was with Jihoon, it was a more genuine, honest smile he never had around Wonwoo anymore. And he remembered why he needed to let Mingyu go. 

Because Mingyu deserved to be happy. And he won’t find happiness stuck with Wonwoo. 

  
  
  


“I think we should break up.” He said, loud enough for Mingyu’s head to snap from the pillow to look at him. 

“What?” 

Wonwoo got up from the bed, cleaned his stomach with some tissues he found on the nightstand and put on his clothes in a hurry. He threw pants and a shirt that wasn’t his onto Mingyu that was still laying on the bed with a confused expression on his face.

“Won, what’s wrong?” He asked as he got up and pulled his pants up. 

He followed after Wonwoo like a lost puppy, grabbing his wrist and so he would turn to face him.

“Hey, look at me. What’s this nonsense, Won? Was I that bad?” He joked, trying to lighten up the mood between them, as he saw tears that were falling down Wonwoo’s cheeks. 

  
  


“I can’t do this anymore.” 

It took a long time for those words to settle in Mingyu’s mind and actually make sense. His hand dropped from the other's wrist as he stared at him in disbelief. He let out a humourless chuckle, moving his gaze anywhere but the man standing in front of him. 

“What’s that supposed to mean?” He asked, a glint of anger present in his voice, as he frowned, finally looking up at Wonwoo again. 

“I’m breaking up with you, Mingyu.” Wonwoo’s voice was weak, but soft, breaking a few times because of the tears. “I’m letting you go. We don’t work with each other anymore.” 

“Where is this coming from, Won? W-What are you even talking about?” 

  
  


Wonwoo felt his chest burn as he watched Mingyu in front of him, looking just like how he imagined him. He wiped his tears away with the sleeve of his sweater, trying to collect himself so he could speak up again, his hands shaking and lip trembling. He was trying to think of words to say next, looking down at his feet and letting out another sob past his lips.

“I—I don’t love you anymore Mingyu. I stopped loving you, a long time ago.” He lied. 

At that moment, it felt like the only way out of the situation was lying straight into Mingyu’s face and hoping the younger would get it and finally leave for good. 

“Won, you don’t mean that.” 

“I do!” He yelled out, looking up at Mingyu and taking one step back. “I don’t love you. I dread spending time with you. I dread every phone call I get from you, every time you force me to go to the stupid parties Jihoon throws. I hate it. You and your ways of making me change so I fit your lifestyle better.” 

He closed his eyes, not believing himself for words that left his mouth. He didn’t mean any of it, but deep down he knew Mingyu would get angry or hurt if he said them. It was the best way to push Mingyu away. 

“I don’t want to be with you. I hate everything you love. We don’t go together and we never will. Stop being dumb, Mingyu.” 

  
  


Mingyu frowned again, putting his shirt back on that he held in his hands and walking towards the living room where he left the rest of his things. Wonwoo was sobbing loudly, following after him as if he was going to apologise. He watched as the younger put on his jacket making his way to the front door and Wonwoo was still trailing after him. 

“You know what?” He said, his hand on the doorknob. “I was wrong about you. You are right this between us doesn’t work anymore.” 

He turned around, swallowing thickly as his eyes met with teary eyes of a man who just broke his heart. 

  
  


“You are so broken inside, Wonwoo. That you aren’t even worth fixing, and I really don’t have time to sit and wait for you anymore.” 

  
  


The loud slamming of the front door made Wonwoo jump a little as he stared at them. He heard the car engine start from the outside and his heart was telling him to run after Mingyu but he was glued to the ground. He heard the car drive off and that’s when finally broke down crying. 

  
  


…. ☕︎︎ 

  
  


Minghao was sitting at his favourite cafe, sipping his tea and looking through the window. The snow had begun melting this morning, it had only been a week since it had fallen. It came out of nowhere because the weather was rather warm days before. He wasn’t a big fan of the snow, but he couldn’t deny that it was beautiful. 

With the corner of his eyes, he spotted a tall figure entering the cafe and scanning the crowded place. He lifted his arm up waving towards the man, and smiling at him. Never in his life did he imagine he would be meeting Kim Mingyu willingly in a cafe like this, nor that the other would agree to meet him. 

  
  


“Hey, I’m glad you came.” He greeted him, his smile dying down a little. 

  
  


Mingyu sat down opposite of him, clearing his throat and nodding his head slightly. His eyes were red and a little bit puffy and he seemed like it was his first time that he left the house in the last week. His hair was a mess, a greasy mess. There was no smell of methanol cigarettes radiating from him, only a body spray that was supposed to cover that he didn’t shower in a while. He wasn’t dressed up, like how Minghao remembers him always being. It was too obvious that he was upset about the breakup he went through. 

  
  


“What did you want, Minghao?” He asked, voice weak and raspy, almost made Minghao pity him. 

“How are you holding up?” He asked, pity present in his voice as he ignored the questions the other asked him. 

  
  


“Isn’t it obvious?” 

Minghao didn’t know what to say. It was pretty obvious that he was broken, a pure mess, almost as bad as his best friend was. 

“Wonwoo believed that you’ve stopped loving him that’s why he broke up with you.” 

“Bullshit.” Mingyu frowned, pushing his chair back and rolling his eyes. 

  
  


“Wonwoo lied to you so you would let him go. You are just too dumb to see it.” 

Mingyu rolled his eyes, not knowing why his ex’s friend asked him here. To tell him how dumb and blind he is sometimes? How bad their communication was that he didn’t even notice stuff like this?

“You know how he is. Typical cancer, and you neglecting him drove him to make a dumb decision in his mind.” Minghao said, taking another sip of his tea. “You are both fools.” 

  
  


“How is he?” Mingyu asked after a while. 

“He is doing as okay as it’s possible. Worse than you, don’t worry.” 

“What do you want from me, Minghao?” He repeated his question, really just wanting to leave the cafe. “Is there any reason why you, out of all the people, would want to talk to me?” 

Minghao was silent, reaching into the pocket of his coat and pulling out his wallet and phone before he put the coat on. He looked at the mess of a man in front of him, blowing a puff of air out of his nose. 

“I just wanted to see how you are holding up.” He replied, smiling warmly. “You were my friend.” 

Mingyu tilted his head to the side. He has known Wonwoo’s friend long enough to figure out when he was lying and when he was telling the truth. And by how he pressed his lips together, his eyes fixed somewhere behind Mingyu, he figured that he wasn’t telling the whole truth. 

  
  


“I know it’s not my place.” He started again when he figured out that Mingyu was looking right through him. “But Wonwoo is too stupid to call you and at least apologise, and I can’t watch him rot in that disgusting apartment of his any longer.” 

“Minghao, he broke up with me.” 

“Did you even ask him why? Or did you just get angry and left him?” 

“He told me he doesn’t love me, that I’m just pushing my lifestyle onto him.” Mingyu’s tone of voice was harsh and bitter, arms crossed on his chest as he looked out of the cafe window.

“You still love him, and he loves you,” Minghao said, standing up, the chair making a loud noise behind him as he stood up. 

He placed his hand on Mingyu’s shoulder, smiling down at him, for the first time Mingyu saw the smile Wonwoo had always told him about. The one filled with care, but hiding secret pity behind all the love. 

“I’m not saying you should get back together, but you both need some closure that you won’t get by not showering and living like two goblins.” 

With that, he said his goodbyes paying for his tea and leaving Mingyu alone in the cafe. He looked through the window again, following him as he walked past it, turning his head to smile at him before he walked away. 

Mingyu let the words Minghao say sink in, staring at the street light that was viable from the cafe and thinking about Wonwoo again. 

He has spent a week trying to delete Wonwoo from his life, starting from the gifts he put in a big box that waited to be thrown out any day now, to deleting pictures from his phone, from pictures they took together to screenshots of the conversation they had. It was painful to read through them, and as soon as they were gone he thought he would feel better, but it just made the breakup seem more real.

He knew forgetting Jeon Wonwoo would take time. It would take months until he would be able to make his favourite food that he loved to make for the other boy. It would take weeks for him to get used to the fact he can’t text the other when he was dying of boredom. Over the last week he tried to accept that it was over and that somehow, without noticing, Wonwoo had really fallen out of love. It was ridiculous in his mind because Wonwoo never showed that he was unhappy. He thought he was really bad at reading his emotions, never did he think that Wonwoo lied about everything he said. 

Did it really take Minghao to tell him all that for him to connect the dots he couldn’t do himself? 

When he arrived back home from the cafe, he decided to shower first and then clean up his room. His roommate looked at him confused when he saw him carrying out bags of takeout finally out of his room. 

  
  


“Are you finally ready to move on?” Soonyoung asked him when he saw him taking the box of gifts out of his room. 

“Yea, I’m ready to move on from him.” 

_ ‘For now’  _ He thought to himself, looking at the box he placed next to his door. 

Soonyoung narrowed his eyes, opening his mouth to say something but was cut off by the knocking on the front door. 

He looked at Mingyu, and then back at the door, shrugging his shoulders instead of saying that he didn’t invite anyone over today. He had been trying to make Mingyu feel better about the breakup all week and asked some of their close friends to help. They would come bringing food, snacks and at one point alcohol to cheer Mingyu up but he would only lock his bedroom door in their face. 

“I swear to God if I open this door and I see Jun and Jihoon standing on the other side, I will kick you out.” He whispered to Soonyoung so whoever was standing behind the door wouldn’t hear him. 

For some reason his heart was beating fast in his chest, hope burning inside of him as he played scenarios that wouldn’t happen in his head. Even after he said to his roommate that he will try to move on, he still hoped Wonwoo would try to contact him. Perhaps it was the fact that he saw Minghao today, and the thought of him telling Wonwoo at what state he saw him would bring the other back, magically. 

The words he told to Wonwoo, that only had a point to hurt the other the same way his words hurt Mingyu, were replaying in his mind as he unlocked the front door. 

That glimpse of hope died down when he saw Jihoon standing there, with a dumb smile on his face. He rolled his eyes, leaving the door open for him to walk inside but didn’t say a word. Soonyoung started yelling from the couch that he didn’t invite him over and how he didn’t even know that Jihoon and Mingyu had a hard time believing that. 

  
  


“He showered at least.” He overheard Jihoon say to the other, both of them bursting into a silent laugh, making Mingyu frown at them from the small kitchen. 

  
  


He took strawberry milk from the fridge, leaning against the kitchen counter. He placed his phone next to him as he tried to ignore the two snickering from the kitchen, rolling his eyes at every comment they threw his way. 

He tossed the milk carton into the trash can when the sound of notification went off from his phone. The sound made his ears ring as he turned his head to look at the bright screen on the counter. His throat went dry, as he licked his lips staring at the screen until it turned black again. He tapped the screen, eyes glued to the notification on his screen. 

It was a text from Wonwoo. 

The specific sound he had for his notification, told Mingyu without having to look at it that it was Wonwoo. 

He felt his ears ring as he stared at the screen for a few more seconds before he locked the phone, bringing his knuckles to lips and biting gently onto his skin. His eyes filled with tears, he tried to fight back. He was happy and excited but angry at the same time.

After telling all those lies to him he really dared to text him now? 

Little voice of anger in Mingyu’s head told him not to answer the text, even though that one stupid message was the only reason the did block Wonwoo’s number. 

  
  


…. ☕︎︎

  
  


He laid in his bed, eyes glued to the ceiling once again. There was nothing much to see, except a few spiders in the corner. His room was in complete darkness after Minghao had left him this morning. He could smell the fresh air coming from the open window his friend left behind him and only then did Wonwoo realise how vile the smell around him was. 

He hadn’t showered in a week, feeling the sweat from that night still stuck on his body. He didn’t change his clothes either. His black hair felt greasy to the touch, and even in his state, he found it disgusting. 

He hadn’t eaten a proper meal in days either, exhaustion kicked in from lack of nutrition which only helped him sleep during the day. The assignments he had for the school were long forgotten, only piling up. He was scared of failing his last year, but he had no will to get out of the bed and do something. 

Today Minghao brought him food from his favourite restaurant and a cup of coffee. He left it in the kitchen and Wonwoo could smell it from his bed. It smelled good and his body was telling him to get up and eat it. He knew the reason Minghao didn’t leave it beside him was so that he would get up from the bed finally. 

  
  


Few days after he had ended things with Mingyu was when he realised how much he was wrong in this situation. The regret started growing and beating him up more with each passing day. He finally had something good in his life, someone good, that helped him look for a reason to keep living, as cliche as that sounded. And he let his past, and his fears control his better judgement and just leave him alone again. 

  
  


He felt the cold air from the open window on his body as he unwrapped himself from his blankets, that somehow smelled of Mingyu still. He walked to the kitchen, opening the takeout bag and looking at the food inside. Minghao had picked some stuff he really liked to eat and he felt his mouth water. 

He began to eat slowly, trying to ignore the awful taste of not washing his teeth for days gave the food, biting through it until he felt like he was going to throw up if he had another bite of the food. 

He looked around his apartment, seeing that it was still the same as it was on that night. The only difference being the lack of dirty dishes in the sink that he guessed Minghao cleaned up today before he left, even though he didn’t hear him do it. 

  
  


Wonwoo had finally started to feel bad for himself and where he was currently. He was disgusting to himself and even let himself down. It was him who broke things off with Mingyu, then why was he the one being all depressed and disgusting? 

Mingyu had probably moved on already, and he should too. Starting easy, by just showering to wash the smell off of him and maybe opening the blinds to let his skin feel the light. 

Wonwoo may be one of the best students to come out of his high school and he may be academically smart, but sometimes he makes really stupid decisions that just ruin his life completely. And being so self-aware was a painful quality he had. 

  
  


After a long shower, where he had rubbed his skin so much to get the dirt out and made it red, he sat on his couch, hair still wet as he cuddled under the pink blanket watching a movie on the tv. The movie was more of background noise as he was scrolling through his phone. He tried to avoid opening his gallery and seeing the pictures of Mingyu he had on his phone. 

He opened the chat with Mingyu, reading through the last few messages and putting salt over his wounds so it would sting better. He blew the air out of his nose, laughing at himself for how dumb he was to let this man go. If he had just stopped for a second to ask Mingyu about the inner conflict he had with himself, he would’ve still been in the happiest relationship a person could have. 

Mingyu had probably blocked his number by now, which wouldn’t surprise him if he was honest, Wonwoo would’ve done the same if he was in that situation.

He got up from the couch to look for the bottle of wine he had hidden away, opening it up and not even bothering to look for a glass. Instead, deciding to drink it straight from the bottle. Wine came nicely when it came to numbing the pain he had. Alcohol was good for wounds, that’s what his mother always said when she would place tissue papers soaked into alcohol onto his wounds when he was a child. 

  
  


The movie he had put on was boring, it didn’t interest him at this point but he was still watching just so he doesn’t have to think, as he slowly downed the bottle of red wine. Disappointed that it disappeared so quickly. The drunkness didn’t start kicking in very quickly, perhaps it was because of his high tolerance but he did start feeling tipsy a few minutes after the bottle was emptied. 

He scrolled to his phone, mostly reading the messages between him and his ex-boyfriend before he decided to type a new message. He was going into it slightly tipsy with his mind feeling sober still but just a little bit cloudy. He had fully believed Mingyu had blocked his number and that no message would ever go through to the other as he pressed send. 

Wonwoo threw his head back, chuckling at himself and his stupidity when his ears picked up the sound of the message being sent that came from his phone. His eyes were wide open and his mind completely sober as he looked down at his screen again. The small blue block had the word ‘sent’ written under it and that was when he started panicking. 

Half of the words he wrote were dumb and it wasn’t really an apology he would’ve ever sent to someone. His lips went dry and he tried to wet them with his tongue as he tried to figure out what to do. His hands began to tremble as he sat up, opening the chat with Minghao to tell him he had fucked up once more before he threw his phone away. 

He rubbed his eyes with his fingers, cursing himself in his head, reaching for the remote to turn off the tv before he took the phone again. 

He was just going to delete the message and pretend it didn’t matter at all. He pressed on to chat with Mingyu, his eyes falling down to see that the message had already been read and he felt his heart drop. He typed in another apology saying to ignore the first message but before he could send it, his phone started ringing and it made his breath stop before he saw Minghao’s name light up on the screen. 

  
  


“What did you do?” He heard Minghao’s voice on the other side, which was calmer than he expected it to be. 

“Well…” He began, collecting his thoughts first. “I really thought he had blocked me, I didn’t expect the message to go through at all.”

“You texted Mingyu?” Minghao asked, and Wonwoo could hear him chuckle. 

“Stop laughing! He read the message, what am I supposed to do now? He will be angrier at me now!” 

“Oh, he already read the message?” 

“Stop it, Hao. I really don’t know what to do. I was going to text him and tell him to ignore it before you called me.” 

“Don’t text him that, stupid.” Minghao snapped. “Leave it. I’m sure he won’t say anything to that. Just breathe, Won. I’m on my way.” 

“Hao?” Wonwoo called out, but the other had already ended the call. 

He looked at his phone, deleting the messages he almost had sent to Mingyu and flopping down onto the couch. He was completely sober, panicking still and rereading the message he had sent Mingyu. 

He heard the knock at the front door, groaning loudly as he got up from the couch to open the door for Minghao. He whined as he pulled the door open, opening his mouth to already complain about his stupidity and they stayed open like that when instead of the slim figure of his best friend at the door he saw Mingyu of all people. 

Wonwoo closed his mouth, blinking a few times to be sure he was actually seeing his ex-boyfriend at his door and not someone else. 

  
  


“What are you doing here?” He blurted out, gripping the door tightly that his knuckles turned white. 

“That was a shitty apology for someone who reads so many books,” Mingyu whispered, clearing his throat while looking at Wonwoo’s hand. “Can I come in?” 

Wonwoo bit his bottom lip, looking down at his feet. He felt his heart beating fast inside his chest and he could swear it would jump out into Mingyu’s hands any moment now. Mingyu was patiently waiting for Wonwoo to either turn him away or let him inside. 

He didn’t know what he would say to Mingyu if he let him inside, he didn’t practice how he would apologise to the other or how he would explain everything that had happened. 

He cleared his throat now, clenching his jaw as his grip on the door loosened and he moved to the aide letting Mingyu in. 

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading !!  
> I'm sorry  
> I'll maybe write part 2??? in future??? maybe ??? if someone likes this at all ???  
> [twitter](https://twitter.com/bubblekoo_) let's be friends idk


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